Looking at Yourself on Video Calls?
Why Controlling the Camera Leaves Us Drained
(Originally posted on LinkedIn on 11 January 2025)
How was your first week back in 2025? Five years into remote work, video calls still leave many of us tense and drained—a far cry from the seamless communication they promised. The irony? Most of us are at home, where we should feel relaxed.
Video meetings were designed to replicate in-person communication: seeing faces, gauging reactions, and ensuring our messages land. But in practice, they often fall short. The culprit? The self-view. Instead of focusing outward, we’re drawn inward—scrutinizing how we look and worrying about how we’re perceived. This constant self-monitoring is draining and disrupts meaningful engagement.
The Problem: The Self-View Window
Our research (Balogova & Brumby, 2022) shows that most people leave their self-view on during meetings to monitor their appearance, and many don’t even know they can turn it off. But the more control we have over how we’re seen, the more pressure we feel to manage it.
This creates a paradox: the camera becomes a curated window we feel compelled to check. Is the angle right? Is the lighting okay? Is the background tidy? It’s not vanity—it’s about managing perception. And it’s exhausting!
Imagine preparing your home for a guest. You’d tidy up to present a certain image. Now, imagine that instead of tidying up, you could control exactly what they see—as if you could direct their gaze, ensuring they only saw what you wanted them to see. This mirrors the self-view dynamic: a constant loop of monitoring and adjusting that keeps us managing instead of engaging.
How Do We Escape This Cycle?
Here are two quick fixes you can try today:
Turn off the camera: Focus entirely on the conversation—maybe even take a walk. After all, isn’t walking together how we most naturally talk?
Turn off the self-view: Use it at the start to check your setup, then turn it off. Trust that it’s fine and shift your focus back to the meeting. After all, in person, we don’t carry mirrors—maybe it’s time to approach video calls the same way.
Let’s start a conversation: 💬 Do video calls leave you drained? Have you tried turning off the camera or self-view? What’s worked for you?